Divorces and separations are complex actions that involve financial calculations, family dynamics, and an emotional minefield. The key to navigating the process is to begin by acknowledging that the adversary knows your secrets—because you told them to your spouse when you were married. The secrets that were not shared may be painful, but they are rarely relevant to settlement. It is difficult when the other side has your blueprints and knows exactly what buttons will evoke a response.
Many divorce outcomes are well known to both attorneys at commencement and determined not by gamesmanship but by law. If you think that you are headed for a divorce, collect as much documentation as you can. Regardless of who pays the bills, acquaint yourself with the cost of your lifestyle, determine if there is cash received and not declared. A majority of divorces involve at least some hidden assets and some attempt at deception. It is a common occurrence for evidence to disappear after commencement. While it may discourage meaningful negotiation, it does not preclude it. Confronting a party with financial anomalies can often put a settlement effort back on track.
Battles over custody, finances, and futures often find parties arguing for fault but, in most cases, the Court is just not interested. The Court rarely provides an arena for validation, and those who seek it come away disappointed. Divorce is a legal dissolution not an emotional forum.
Parents, even good parents, often allow process to bruise the children. Protection cannot be casual; it must be pro-active. V&R often helps the client to devise safe strategies to keep children from being the rope in the parents’ tug of war. We help our clients see a path to the future and thereby discourage scorched earth mentalities. Settlements must foresee two independent and rehabilitated people with shared connections to their children.
Ultimately, the best divorce leaves everyone whole or at least on their way to being whole. It is the responsibility of an attorney to understand that healing is a function of avoiding needless devastation and teaching clients to focus on what they and their children need to go forward.
Prenuptial and Postnuptial Agreements
Custody and Visitation
Challenging Prenuptial Agreements and Divorce Stipulations